Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Death of Polite Society

I’m chubby, and because of that, most guys don’t ever take the time to see past my extra inches to find out who I am beneath the extra pounds. And I’m okay with that – most of the time.

I am also okay with the fact that most of my friends are more attractive than me. Pita is an adorable, sassy little thing who guys always find attractive. PL oozes sex appeal. And JoJo, well JoJo is a drop-dead stunner. But it’s when I go out with one of them somewhere that it really starts to bug me.

Last Friday night, Pita and I went out to DC for some fun. Well, fun was eluding us, so we headed back to Arlington to one of Pita’s favorite haunts – Guarapo’s. Guarapo’s is a neat place because they always have a good DJ upstairs, the drinks are nice and strong (although pricey), and unlike most bars in the area, there are usually more guys than girls.

It took about 10 minutes before the first guy started circling us, preparing to make his move. He positioned himself between Pita and me (with his back to me) and started chatting her up. I was left standing there totally bored – and annoyed.

It didn’t take Pita long to get over this guy, and we moved a table, where three more guys were already sitting. Within 5 minutes, they were all chatting with her and not one of them said a single thing to me. Not one word.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not looking to hook up with any of these guys. I’m not the kind of girl who meets a guy while drinking and takes him home for a little fun. But would it freaking kill them to just acknowledge my presence? Just because they say hi doesn’t mean I’m going to fall in love with them and start following them around like a little dark cloud. Is that what they are afraid of? To guys, since I am not their target, I am an obstacle to be avoided at all costs.

I am left asking myself this: “what happened to the basic rules of polite society?” When did it become acceptable practice to ignore someone who is standing right next to you? Someone whose conversation you just interrupted? I don’t mind if guys hit on Pita – or PL or JoJo (who are both engaged). And I don’t mind if they don’t hit on me. What I do mind is being completely ignored.

So guys, a little piece of advice – if a girl across the room catches your eye, don’t ignore her less attractive friend who is standing right next to her. Say hello. Introduce yourself to both of them. Engage both of them in conversation. And then, as the opportunity presents itself, make your intentions clear to the object of your affection. But don’t leave the homelier half of the dynamic duo standing there with her thumb up her ass. Trust me – that girl is likely going to have some say in whether or not you get to go home with her friend. And if you’re an ass to her, no matter how much of a connection you think you have formed with her friend, your efforts may be all for naught.


Carrie M said...

see? and people wonder why I don't like to go to bars anymore...

you are fabulous, you are. hugs.

Kay said...

I too have been in this situation, out with a much hotter girlfriend. I was either ignored or they chatted me up to get info on her. Nice. Sometimes I got sloppy seconds. But I felt like an ass. I think the only reason I fell in love with my husband was because he didnt think she was attractive at all. He liked me!!

Helen Skor said...

Kay, my ex-boyfriend, who turned out to be a real dud, was totally smitten with my old roommate who was a blonde bombshell - sloppy seconds suck.

Carrie - I feel ya babe! Hope you're getting settled okay in the new place!