Cougarlicious . . .

Ship, always on the cutting edge of culture, has introduced me to a new definition for the word "cougar." Now, maybe I've been living in a hole and need to get out more, but I always thought that a cougar was sort of mountain lion or something . . . four legs, fur, and a ferocious growl. Apparently, I was mistaken.

So far, this is my understanding of what the word now means: Cougars are older women who go after younger men, like predators stalking their prey. The poster child for Cougars, of course, is Demi Moore. Another example would be Julie Cooper who had a fling with her husband-to-be's son who was in his early twenties. (And just so you know, I am fully aware that Julie is a fictional character from the OC, not a real person!) Liz Taylor has also married several men who were substantially younger, as has Zsa Zsa Gabor.

But in terms of Metro DC, what age marks the distinction between just your average 30-something looking for love and a predatory, indigenous cougar? Or does it have less to do with the age of the woman and more to the age gap between her and the men (and often boys) she pursues? Or is it her parental status, or maybe the age of her children?

Somebody help me out here, because I'm terribly confused by all of this! If I, at the ripe old age of 31, go to one of my regular haunts in Clarendon and strike up a conversation with a guy who is 27, am I a cougar? And is being a cougar even a bad thing?

Dildos . . .

No, the title isn't just some random word to get you to read the post.

The other night, Jo and I were talking about dildos and vibrators over a few drinks, and I realized that I never really talk to my girlfriends about that kind of thing. Now, I don't want you to be misled by this revelation: I'm no Puritan and I usually say exactly what's on my mind. But sex toys rarely end up being a topic of conversation and I'm not sure why. Are we embarassed about using them? I'm not sure why, because they are absolutely a tool of survival if you're single (and many times, if you're in a relationship), and I find the range of options utterly intriguing!

Not only do you have the various incarnations of the dildo (all different shapes, colors, and sizes, the double-ended variety, ones made of glass, strap-ons, etc.), but then there's the vibrator with its many different options, and the bullets which I haven't tried out yet. And don't forget butt plugs (although I think they are mostly for the boys!). I mean the list of toys available out there is astounding.

So why aren't we all talking about this? Why do we, as women, find it so taboo to talk about something that most of us seem to get a great deal of enjoyment out of using?! I know there is a decent percentage of the population that would be horrified at this thought (my mother included), but a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

And isn't it better to enjoy a toy than to go out and fool around with some guy who isn't going to bother to call you the next day just so you can scratch an itch? (And in many cases, not getting a call-back is quite possibly the BEST case scenario, because I've seen what some of these guys look and act like in the light of day, and it isn't pretty!) Oh, and don't forget about STDs. Of course HIV is the big one, but genital herpes sticks with you for life even though it's treatable, and even a case of the crabs is pretty horrid (not speaking from personal experience, I assure you!). It's just not worth it. Especially when you consider that most sex during one-night stands is pretty forgettable.

I heard recently that teenage girls are having less sex with fewer partners now than they did 15 years ago. Is it possible that they are smarter than those of us in our 20s and 30s? Did they discover the marvels of modern engineering at an earlier age than we did? If so, good for them.

Next time you go out with your friends, bring up the topic of dildos and watch how your friends react. (You may want to wait until everyone has had a few glasses of wine before you approach the subject though!) You will probably have a friend who acts utterly horrified, one whose cheeks turn bright red, and one who tries to quickly change the subject. But if you can break the ice, I think it's something that most of us are dying to talk about with our friends.