On Sunday, I will turn 32. It seems like every birthday since my 30th has brought about a year of changes. Some good, some bad.
For example, the week of my 30th birthday brought about a series of major events: one of my best friends had her bachelorette party in Myrtle Beach (good), the death of my grandmother (bad, but for the best), the death of Alphie, a Betta fish that was a gift from my brother (bad, because he was murdered), and the end of a 3-year relationship (a blessing).
So now, on the verge of another birthday, I can’t help but wonder what lies around the corner for me. Will it be a new love? A new car? More good times with great friends? Or maybe something bad?
But then I realized something . . . it doesn’t really matter. And I don’t mean that in a fatalistic way. I just mean that I have lived a great life so far. There have been ups and downs, and they have shaped me into the person that I am today: a strong, independent, loving, sarcastic, nurturing (and sometimes combative) woman. I have a great circle of friends. I have a job that (despite the long hours) I really love. I am settled in my home life. I have the world’s most awesome dog. And I am comfortable in my own skin (although, like most people, I occasionally have my moments of self-doubt).
I have also decided to let go of some things from my past that have haunted me for a while, especially as they relate to past relationships. Among other things, I’m deleting some old blogs from back when I first started posting almost a year ago. The circumstances that fueled those blogs are so far removed from my current life, and I don’t want people to read them and think that they represent who I am today. I’ve also decided to let go of some of the anger I’ve felt toward my father about how he treated me during my childhood. Just as I have changed, so has he. And holding on to past hurt will do nothing but hurt me further.
Whatever lies ahead, I am ready for it. I am strong enough to face adversity, and gracious enough to be thankful for my blessings.
Now go enjoy the beautiful weather here in DC this weekend. I like to think of it as God’s little birthday gift to me!
For example, the week of my 30th birthday brought about a series of major events: one of my best friends had her bachelorette party in Myrtle Beach (good), the death of my grandmother (bad, but for the best), the death of Alphie, a Betta fish that was a gift from my brother (bad, because he was murdered), and the end of a 3-year relationship (a blessing).
So now, on the verge of another birthday, I can’t help but wonder what lies around the corner for me. Will it be a new love? A new car? More good times with great friends? Or maybe something bad?
But then I realized something . . . it doesn’t really matter. And I don’t mean that in a fatalistic way. I just mean that I have lived a great life so far. There have been ups and downs, and they have shaped me into the person that I am today: a strong, independent, loving, sarcastic, nurturing (and sometimes combative) woman. I have a great circle of friends. I have a job that (despite the long hours) I really love. I am settled in my home life. I have the world’s most awesome dog. And I am comfortable in my own skin (although, like most people, I occasionally have my moments of self-doubt).
I have also decided to let go of some things from my past that have haunted me for a while, especially as they relate to past relationships. Among other things, I’m deleting some old blogs from back when I first started posting almost a year ago. The circumstances that fueled those blogs are so far removed from my current life, and I don’t want people to read them and think that they represent who I am today. I’ve also decided to let go of some of the anger I’ve felt toward my father about how he treated me during my childhood. Just as I have changed, so has he. And holding on to past hurt will do nothing but hurt me further.
Whatever lies ahead, I am ready for it. I am strong enough to face adversity, and gracious enough to be thankful for my blessings.
Now go enjoy the beautiful weather here in DC this weekend. I like to think of it as God’s little birthday gift to me!
1 comment:
great post, and a great way to look at things.
Happy Birthday!
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